"Somebody please, get this man a gun!"
2x The Gun-Fu - 2x The Keanu
AJ and Jay tackle a double dose of John Wick, reviewing and breaking down both installments of the franchise. They talk body count, the concept of catharsis in revenge and the fate of Common! We talk about dogs a little too. Cause how can you not? Such cool dogs! Settle into your sweet ride and crank up this episode of Cinema Sesh with John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2!
John Wick 0:00 - 42:30
John Wick 2 42:30 - 85:00
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Now, when I die, don't think I'm a nut. Don't want no fancy funeral, just one like ole King Tut. Seems like a fun process. Get part of your brain yanked out with a hook. Have your vital organs put into separate jars, your eyes get replaced with onions! Thank goodness your already dead!
Fun Fact: When you type in 'Process of' into Google, 'mummification' is the first autofill result.
Listen, we're gonna level with you. Nothing in this movie is nearly as interesting as that description of mummification AJ found on Google. It's a mess of grayness, CGI zombies and simplistic plot/dialogue. "But guys" you may ask, "the movie couldn't possibly be that bad, could it?". Listen, far be it from us to dissuade you from going to the cinema and pumping currency into our economy which it desperately needs, but maybe go see...anything else. We discuss this movie, for longer than we probably should and more in depth than it deserves, because we sacrifice for our fans. You're welcome. Please enjoy Jay and AJ grumbling through this episode about The Mummy.
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They say never meet your heroes. Thank goodness Emmy Award Winning Jim O'Heir isn't AJ's hero!
(Full disclosure, this blurb is being written in the third person by AJ so it's kind of surreal. Also, no need to take any of this seriously.)
Actually, AJ considers Jim, who played Jerry Gergich on Parks and Rec, a good friend who he feels honored to joke around with. If only Jim would relax that darn restraining order on him!
But really though, Jim is a prince of a man. Which is a coincidence because he has a Prince Albert! He forced AJ to look at it during the interview. Because Jim doesn't wear pants during interviews. Look it up.
Jim is promoting an exciting new movie, Middle Man! It's out in theaters June 9th 2017! Catch it around the country in limited release! Which is rare for Jim. He usually demands full release.
All joking aside, Jim is an absolutely wonderful guy; nice, caring and funny. You won't find a more genuine dude. And he genuinely dislikes AJ! It's kind of amazing we got this interview at all.
Jim is fantastic.
Enjoy!
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Trailer for Middle Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjOe5s0rAfc
See Middle Man!
http://www.middlemanmovie.com/see-the-movie
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Who has ever wished they could go back in time? See the world of yesteryear, experience a younger, more innocent world. One with fewer rights for everyone who wasn't white and male, no penicillin and a complete lack of internet. Actually that sounds incredibly awful. The only good thing is that Kyle, that jerk from work, wouldn't have been born yet.
Let's face it, folks. War is hell. But you know what makes it better? Superheroines! In the newest installment of the DCEU, we join Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman AKA Gal Gadot as she kicks ass across Europe during World War I or, as your great grandparents knew it at the time, "The Great War". I honestly don't see what was so great about it.
Join Jay and AJ as they break down the whole story, the CGI and their favorite moments of the film. Hunker down in the trenches and make sure you have your rations to keep up your strength through this Wonder Woman episode of Cinema Sesh!
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BTW, here's the link to the "Born Sexy Yesterday" video by Pop Culture Detective Agency that AJ mentioned.
With the tide high and the wind at our backs, we once again grab the wheel and point our ship toward wherever adventure takes us. Will we search for some magical treasure? Or fight some cursed pirates? Or retread the same tropes of the first four movies? All compasses point to maybe.
AJ and Jay have loved the pirate franchise since they both saw Curse of the Black Pearl when it premiered on AJ's birthday in 2003. They've stuck with these characters for 14 years and five movies. But now, with the end on the horizon, how will the possible final chapter of Captain Jack Sparrow and the rest of his pirate cohorts fair on the choppy waters of sequel overload?
Don't miss this episode where the boys navigate the waters of the past movies, the perils of character fatigue and the possibility of Jack hanging up his dreadlocks. Make sure you have enough lemons as not to get scurvy while you come out on the high seas with Cinema Sesh and Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.
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Covenant Complaint Log, 2104:
When I agreed to go on this colonization mission, I was told that it's gonna be a good time. We were gonna make a new home on a far away planet and I'd never have to see that jerk Kyle from work ever again. I'm not complaining, it's nice to sleep for years on end but there was nothing in the brochure about aliens with acid blood! Also, they lost my luggage. One Star. Would not recommend.
Although, that review of the experience on the Covenant was not a ringing endorsement, Jay and AJ may have a different opinion of Alien: Covenant the movie! We take you through the convoluted history of the Alien movies, discuss the differences between a good movie and a great movie and ask the question "Do androids dream of electric xenomorphs?". So settle into your comfy stasis pods and ask Muthur to play the latest episode of Cinema Sesh!
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A legend is sung of when England was young and knights were brave and bold.
But they weren't knights anymore and Arthur was raised by a whore and Jude Law was being a jerk.
The sword in the stone had to be pulled by the one who was worth of ruling the land.
And Guy Ritchie was there to add quips and flair but did it all work out in the end?
AJ and Jay sit down this week to talk about King Arthur: The Legend of the Sword! They're not from ancient England so there was a bit of a culture divide but they do their best to break it all down for you. They discuss the stars, special effects and insane editing in this summer box office offering. Pull up a stone and hang out for this podcast! Just make sure you pull the sword out first. Enjoy!
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In the beginning there were the Guardians. And it was good. A ragtag group of aliens saving the galaxy from threats of destruction. Did anyone think that this would be the last time their services would be needed? Could Starlord and his crew just go back to their lives with the memory of their glory behind them? Could a billion dollar franchise end with just one incredibly successful movie? Of course not!
Peter Quill, Gamora, Drax, Rocket and Groot are all back for the sophomore Vol. 2! The quips are quippier, the danger is danger-ier and the bad guys are...meaner. The heroes mettle will be tested once again and so will their relationships because why else would the movie have been made? To sell merchandise? No! Absolutely not!
Join AJ and Jay as they discuss the finer points of alien makeup, baby trees and why you should always check your newfound parents basement before you agree to help them with any of their universal plans. Sit back and enjoy our talk about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. We are Groot!
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What does it mean to be human? Does the construct of a soul actually exist? Where is the closest 24 hour sushi restaurant near you?
None of these questions and more will be answered in this episode of Cinema Sesh as AJ and Jay discuss the story of the cybernetic Major played by Scarlett Johansson. There is so much about this movie for us to unpack, especially in comparing it to the anime it is adapted from (Yes, we're those types of nerds. Also, guess which movie with Oompa Loompas we prefer). When it's all over, you'll have a better understanding of what it means to be our friends and what they have to put up with after we see a movie with them.
You'll emit a laughter prompt, you'll leak silicone tears in a preprogramed act of crying, you might even acquire some new data packets that increase your understanding of your immediate world. But what do we know? We're not rocket surgeons. Enjoy!
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Clint Eastwood once said "Fate pulls you in different directions". He must have been confusing fate with harpoons mounted on race cars. Also, his son is in this movie! It must have be fate!
Time to jump back into the shotgun seat and join Dom, Letty, Hobbs and the gang for another NOS-fueled romp around the globe! But this time something is horribly wrong! Watch as bonds are tested, both familial bonds as well as the bonds physics holds over the stunts the writers came up with!
Jay and AJ dive into this movie just like they were jumping into freezing Russian waters. They discuss how we got here over the last seven movies, who the new faces are joining the franchise and what this movie means to the whole Furious-verse. And don't worry, they get into the Han-troversy. So settle in with some popcorn drizzled in motor oil and enjoy The F8 of the Furious Sesh!
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It's a tale as old as time: Two dudes hanging out on a couch discuss a movie for your listening pleasure. Or they just like hearing their own voices.
Here's a segue!
Beauty and the Beast was discussed this week by Jay and AJ! When it comes to remakes, it's difficult to expect it to live up to the original...but did this one? It IS Disney after all and they can do no wrong...or can they? To find out the answers to the questions following these ellipses and more, listen to this weeks episode...or just put it on in the background of doing laundry?
There's a girl who reads books! A tinkerer who tinkers! A Beast who huffs a lot! And so many singing dishes you'll want to be nicer to your whole kitchen. Come on down the rabbit hole...wait, wrong movie...anyway, join us for the fun and fantastical Disney's Beauty and the Beast Live Action Remake Trademark Copyright Forever!
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Spoilers abound! Must we remind you every time?
Sadly, this week we say goodbye to one of the most iconic super heroes in cinema history: Logan, aka The Wolverine. Hugh Jackman has been playing this role for 17 years now and is finally hanging up the claws to move on to...what? We don't know but we wish him well.
In this final chapter of the Logan saga, we are rocketed into the future with new characters, a few of our old favorites and...kids. There's cybernetics, psychics and clones, oh my! How many times are they going to use that Wizard of Oz reference, you ask? As many times as there are pithy lists to make about a movie. Listen as our two hosts journey down memory lane and talk about how Logan got here and how the movie itself lives up to the legend. Enjoy!
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Welcome to Hollywood, folks! Tinseltown. Chocolate Town, USA....wait that's not us. This is the place where dreams come true, but not always in the way you expect them. It's like the Monkey Paw of cities.
This week we talk about La La Land, the movie musical directed by Damien Chazelle (Whiplash) with the leading roles, which anyone down here would kill for, being filled by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be transported back to the golden age of the silver screen with musical numbers that will take your breath away.
This one is in the running to be an Oscar contender, already having taken home a few Golden Globes. Give it a watch and then give us a listen.
Lights, Camera, Enjoy!
(Cheesy enough?)
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Finally! After what felt like a whole year, we finally have another Star Wars movie!
Rogue One is truly the prequel the Star Wars franchise needed. Spoilers: We do discuss Episode 1-3 but as little as we possibly can.
But for real: SPOILERS ABOUND! We introduce you to all of the characters in this new, yet familiar, world including Cassian Andor (Greatest Star Wars Name), Jyn Erso, K-2SO, Chirrut Îmwe, Baze Malbus and Bodhi Rook. We find out who is still around from the Clone Wars and which characters may be sticking around for the upcoming movies. You'll thrill at all the drama! All the action! All the droids!
There's so much great stuff in this movie, we almost couldn't stop talking about it! Don't worry though. We eventually do stop.
So settle in and take a big ol' listen to Rogue One Sesh: A Cinema Sesh Story!
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We chose to do this podcast completely in English instead of the Heptapod language. Not that we're trying to exclude any Heptapod from listening to this podcast, it's just that our listeners are typically from Earth and they don't understand that alien language. We totally could have done it in an alien language...we just didn't want to show off.
This movie is gripping for so many reasons. Too many reasons to explain here. You'll have to listen to the podcast for all of the amazing details. And we do go into detail. Spoiler detail! Enjoy and...
...I just tried to type in the aliens language, ya know to be inclusive, and my computer crashed. The jerks aren't compatible with Macs. Get it together, technologically advanced dummies.
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